Finding Finn
by pursuit of dorkyness
Summary: "Remember when we had that ballad assignment? Mr. Schue told me something. He said that one day I'd find a guy who loved everything about me. Even the things I didn't like. That...they'd be the things he'd love the most." Note: Set sometime in Funk.
1. Finding

**A/N: **This is/was sort of my rant. I am so glad that glee club stood up for Rachel when Jesse egged her, though. You know...that part when Puck, Finn, Matt, Mike, Artie and even Kurt were about to beat him up. But before that, I felt bad because the show didn't give Rachel enough time to grieve. And when Mr. Schue tried to talk to Rachel in his office, he wasn't really listening, he just started plotting how to defeat Sue. I dunno. This is the part I feel that they should have put in. Opinions please. Thanks.

P.S. The title idea was super random. Inspired by one of my favorite movies, Finding Nemo. Also inspired by Finding NEVERLAND, where the title could have been Finding FINNLAND. Lol. I own neither of them. I don't Rachel either...or Finn. :(

* * *

Her pink argyle sweater was ruined. Her dads would be disappointed. They'd gotten it for her especially. But maybe this time they'd understand. She hoped _someone _would understand. Just this once. Maybe someone – _anyone _– could give her a break.

She sat on the steps in front of school. She was soaked. Whether from the tears, or from the rain, she didn't know. She didn't care. Not anymore.

She was empty. There was no other way to describe it. When Jesse left, he took part of her with him. The part with her will to live.

She suddenly became aware of another figure sitting down next to her. She didn't realize anyone else stayed at school this late. That was the whole point of trying to hide. She thought no one would find her.

Instead of looking up, she shook her head, her hair acting as a curtain for her face. She already knew who it was anyway.

"I don't really know what to say," Finn said. "Asking you how you feel when we can all pretty much see it would kind of make me seem like well...an as—"

"Yeah, well," Rachel cut him off. She didn't want this talk. "I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone's in a bad mood this week."

Finn studied her closely for a moment. "Yeah," he said. "But not for the same reasons that you are."

Rachel bit her lip, letting the tears slide down her cheeks. "Right," she whispered.

"Look, Rachel, I know before I told you that if this ended badly, I wouldn't be your friend anymore. I want you to know, that's not true. I lied. I am your friend. You can talk to me."

Rachel didn't respond. She considered what he'd said. The silence between them was so intense that she half expected him to leave.

He didn't.

"You know what the weird thing is?" she finally said.

Finn shook his head, absently playing with the strap of his backpack.

"A few months ago...like, I dunno, maybe two? Back when Mr. Schue gave us that ballad assignment...remember that?"

Finn nodded, smiling wistfully at the memory. "Yeah, I remember. You got paired with him, right? I mean, Mr. Schue?"

"Yeah. I developed an..._attraction_ towards him and I did some rather inappropriate things," she said. Finn noticed her blushing. She cleared her throat. "When I got over it, and well...apologized for my actions, Mr. Schue told me something. He said that one day I'd find a guy who loved everything about me. Even the things I didn't like. That...they'd be the things he'd love the most."

She stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. When she continued, her voice was shaking. "I thought I found him, Finn. I thought he was the one. When he left after the _Run Joey Run _debacle, I thought I'd lost him. When you took me to the doctor instead of him, I was so afraid. He was gone. I'd lost him."

She didn't bother to hide the tears this time. Finn swallowed. He hadn't been expecting this.

"But then he came back," Rachel said; sounding so unlike herself. "He came back to me. And that's when I was sure I'd found him. I guess not."

There was an awkward silence. Rachel broke it by laughing. Finn looked at her, alarmed. Maybe she'd really lost her mind. It was possible, with depression, after all.

"I guess there are too many obnoxious parts about myself for anyone to like them all. I can't even bring myself to sing. I'm dead."

Finn arched a brow. Rachel looked him in the eye. She'd always been the dramatic one.

"Dead, Finn. Dead. Look at me. I haven't been eating, well, barely. A-and...I...I just..."

She trailed off, before breaking into sobs. Finn sat closer (a little hesitantly at first) and put his arm around her; letting her rest her head on his shoulder. "It's okay," he said. "I'm here."

Her sobs gradually calmed down. Finn couldn't help but feel this was how it was supposed to be. With Rachel in _his _arms. He would have jumped at the opportunity to be with her...but she was so broken. It was too soon. He knew how it would end. They'd already been through that. And he couldn't afford to screw up. Not again. He was running out of chances. He would have to wait. It would be worth it...in the end.

"It's okay," he repeated. "I'm still here. I'll always be here."

"I know," Rachel murmured. "I know you will, Finn."

* * *

When Rachel got home, she stood at her front door, watching him walk away. His jacket was hanging loosely around her shoulders. She was soaking wet. Her dads would have questions, no doubt. _Why are you so late? Why are you wet? What happened to your sweater? Whose jacket is that? _

But those questions could wait. At the moment, there was only one question on her mind. As she watched the tall, uncoordinated figure she had grown to care for walk away, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she _did _find the right guy after all.

* * *

**A/N2: **Thoughts?


	2. Waiting

**A/N: **Okay, so I'd fully intended to make this a one-shot, but your reviews made me so happy that I thought, "Eh, what the hey?" and I made a second chapter. I might make this a four-shot, btw.

It took me long to write this because:

- I wrote the whole thing this afternoon, then when I was saving it, I got logged out. WTHEY?

- When I was re-writing it, I started watching How I Met Your Mother.

- Then I moved onto Sonny With A Chance (Don't you just love Chad?).

- Then Child's Play came on TV. Oh my gosh. Chucky is so...*screams*

SO...YEAH.

Also...FLYING DONKEY! *points behind you*

Anyway, enjoy.

- Dorky.

_

* * *

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me._

So much for that.

"_I loved you."_

She felt violated. And broken. More so than before. She didn't even think it was possible.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been standing in the parking lot, dripping yolk all over the ground, but the next thing she knew Mercedes was pulling her away, asking questions. When they were safely hidden in the bathroom, she let the tears fall.

"What happened?"

Rachel shook her head. For once in her life she was speechless. "It was Jesse," she whispered.

"Oh my God, Rachel, I am so sorry," Mercedes said, pulling her into a hug.

If she hadn't felt so betrayed, she would have been touched by the fact that Mercedes didn't mind getting egg all over her outfit.

When she pulled away, Mercedes gave her an encouraging smile.

"I'll be outside if you need me."

Rachel nodded, watching Mercedes leave the restroom.

Washing egg out of her hair had been tougher than washing off a slushie. It was stickier and the thought of all the egg-souls she had murdered kept haunting her. But she managed to do it anyway. She looked at herself in the mirror.

There were dark shadows under her eyes and her hair was matted. What happened to her? Had Jesse really meant that much to her? Deep down, she'd always known that the reason she started dating him was because Finn had broken her heart. He was the rebound. But she'd never counted on falling for him. Which is exactly what happened, she realized.

"_I loved you."_

With a pang in her chest, something dawned on her.

What if she was right the first time? What if she _had _found him? What if it _was _Jesse? And not Finn. What if she found him...and she'd already lost her chance?

* * *

Finn clenched his fists. The moment Rachel mentioned Jesse, he stopped listening. He didn't need to. Whatever it was, he knew it wasn't going to be good.

When Puck said his name, he didn't need to think. He got up automatically. "Right on. It's time for less talking and more punching."

He had already imagined how mauled and distorted Jesse's face was going to look, when Mr. Schue came in and stopped them.

_Darn._

He had been looking forward to smashing Jesse's face in. Ahh, well. It would have to wait.

Okay, he was confused. Why was Rachel calling Jesse? Then why was she handing Mr. Schue the phone?

"Jesse St. James? Will Schuester, here..."

* * *

She was running. Running to him. He was waving at her. He was smiling.

And then...it happened again. It was worse this time because she should have been expecting it.

_"I loved you."_

She woke up panting. It was just a dream. Maybe it was _all _just a dream. It would certainly make more sense that way. It would be less scary...and painful.

She realized she'd been crying. There were tears streaming down her face. She needed someone to talk to. She couldn't talk to her dads. They were already so worried about her. Mercedes? No, not really. Their friendship, though solid was still quite fragile.

Maybe...

Acting on impulse, she grabbed her phone and dialed the familiar number.

He'd always be there, he said so himself. Praying that he meant it, she willed him to pick up.

* * *

Finn's phone was ringing. _What the heck? _Who would call him at this time of the night? Oh, scratch that. It was morning. Two in the morning, to be exact.

"What?" he barked, not bothering to check who it was.

"F-Finn?"

Oh, snap.

"Rachel?"

"H-hi. Sorry to call at a time like this. B-b-but...I-I..."

She broke off, crying. Finn's heart ached, hearing her sobs. That Jesse kid was dead.

When her sobs had reduced, he decided to say something.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to be alone."

Finn checked the time. 2:03 am. He made a decision.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

* * *

Rachel bit her lip, waiting anxiously. It was funny that way. She was always waiting for him.

Waiting for him to break up with Quinn.

Waiting for him to realize that he had feelings for her.

Waiting for him to unleash his inner rock star.

Waiting for him to man up and forget about his reputation.

Waiting for him to figure out that she'd given him too many chances.

Waiting for him to realize that she didn't care. She still wanted him..._needed _him.

Waiting for him to throw rocks at her window.

Wait, what?

She crawled out of her bed and towards her window. There was a red pickup truck parked by the sidewalk.

Finn was throwing rocks...but not at _her _window.

"Finn," she hissed. "What are you doing? You could wake up my dads!"

"I-I thought this was your room."

She couldn't help but smile at his obliviousness. There he was: the boy who (possibly) held her heart so dearly (and excruciatingly). He drove to see her at two in the morning just to make her feel better.

"I'll let you in," she said. "Meet me at the front door."

* * *

When Rachel opened the door, Finn barely had any time to say anything when her arms came around his neck.

"Whoa," he laughed. Then he realized Rachel was crying.

Oh.

"Rach, hey, it's okay."

She sniffled, and sat down on the couch. Finn shuffled awkwardly on his feet before settling down next to her.

An awkward silence settled between them.

"He said he loved me."

Finn tried not to look shocked - or hurt. _So do I._

"Well, he's an idiot, then." _So am I._

"No, Finn. He's not the idiot. I am," Rachel sighed.

"What?"

"Don't you get it? He said he _loved _me."

"Yeah, so?"

"Past tense! Which means...I did something to make him stop. Wh-what if...it was the 'Run, Joey, Run,' thing? If I'd never done that...maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe he'd still be in McKinley. Maybe he'd still be in Vocal Adrenaline. Maybe he'd still love me!"

She said it in a rush and she was breathless when she finished. Finn tried to hide the disappointment that he felt. She wasn't over him yet.

"Do you believe in fate, Rachel?"

"That's a random question."

"But do you?"

"Well, sure. I mean, I guess."

"Then _maybe _things were meant to be this way. Maybe, that's how you were supposed to know."

"Know what?"

"That he wouldn't forgive you. I did. That he doesn't really love you." _I do._

"Oh."

Finn suddenly felt stupid. He was supposed to make her feel better. Now he only felt like he'd made things worse.

"I'm sorry."

Much to his surprise, Rachel kissed him on the cheek. "I know you are."

* * *

He sat in his pickup truck, thinking, which he doesn't do often. Rachel had fallen asleep in his arms. He'd carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He'd found his jacket hanging on the back of a chair and he draped it over her shoulders before tucking her in. He'd kissed her forehead before leaving.

Now he was the one waiting.

Waiting for Rachel to get over Jesse.

Waiting for the right time to be with her.

Waiting for all the pain to go away.

Waiting for the courage to forgive Puck and Quinn.

Waiting for Regionals.

Waiting for babygate/Drizzle/Beth.

Waiting for everything.

But heck, he'd wait forever if he had to. Because this time, he wasn't letting go.

* * *

**A/N2: **And...BAM! What did you think?

OHMYGOSH. THE FINALE IS THIS WEEK.

Can I get a, "WHAT, WHAT?"

(Pause to give you time to say, "What, what?")

Can I get a, "HEY, HO!"

(Pause to give you time to say, "Hey, ho!")

Can I get a review?

Seriously.

Please?

(Pause to give you time to review)

Oh, and if you looked behind you when I said, "FLYING DONKEY," please mention that in your review. The same goes for if you said, "What, what?" and "Hey, ho!"

- Dorky out!


	3. Lost and Found

**A/N: **Oh em glee. I LOVED THE FINALE! Ooh. That rhymed. So...who else cried while watching 'Journey', huh? Oh come on, admit it! Well, I thought I'd make four chapter of this story but after seeing the finale, I just wanted to make one last. So yes people, this is the end of this story. But I'll be writing more Finn/Rachel ones, so don't worry. :) Can you guys believe we have to wait until SEPTEMBER (Is it September?) for season 2? Ahh, well. That gives me time to plot how I shall find my own Finn Hudson. *evil laugh*

Also, this chapter goes out to the people who did the "What, what?" and "Hey, ho!" things. And also those who checked for flying donkeys.

MaroonFox, LiveLoveLaughLife, RAENEE, TayRae41, ItWasJustADream, JustAnotherHuman, and MusicMistress712 . If I forgot anyone, drop me a PM I'll add your name. :)

Best review goes to: The Thrush That Can't Fly because for some insane reason, yours made me lol. Sadly, no, I can't marry you. I am engaged to frozen yogurt, despite the fact that it may be overrated.

Now, enjoy.

* * *

Flashes of black and pink blurred her vision. The tears didn't help either. Members of Vocal Adrenaline were jumping up and down, screaming, celebrating. But she couldn't let their defeat get to her. Now that the immediate concern had been addressed, there were more important things to discuss.

Drying her eyes, she faced her teammates. "How's Quinn?"

For a second, everyone forgot about where they were and what they were doing there. They looked at her with sad eyes. At least they were distracted – momentarily.

"She's okay now." Mercedes was the one to answer.

"We should call her...and tell her that..." Finn trailed off. No one wanted to say that they'd lost. Because losing Regionals meant losing glee club – and eventually, each other.

"We should go check on her and Puck, you know," Kurt said, his voice breaking. The rest of the club nodded and began walking offstage.

Finn took Rachel's hand. They began following the rest of New Directions but she just happened to look back. Jesse was staring at them. The rest of his team was backstage – relishing their victory. His eyes were glazed over – unreadable. Rachel swallowed. She had some unfinished business.

"Hold on. You guys go ahead. There are some things I need to do first."

Finn followed her gaze and upon seeing Jesse, his eyes narrowed.

"You sure, Rachel?" Tina asked.

Rachel nodded and gave a small smile. "I'll follow."

"I'll be outside, waiting for you," Finn said. He kissed her before leaving. She felt her stomach doing flips. Unfortunately, she also felt Jesse's intense gaze burning her.

When the theater had cleared out and everyone had left, she and Jesse were alone. Slowly, she walked towards him and he followed suit. They met center stage; ironically.

"Rachel, I want to—"

"Congratulations," Rachel said. "You guys were amazing."

Jesse looked at her cautiously. "Thank you," he said after a while. "I appreciate it."

A few moments of awkward silence passed before he decided to speak again. "You did...fairly..._decent_."

"Thanks," Rachel laughed. "I think."

More moments of awkward silence.

"Well, I should be getting back. We're having a celebratory party at Ms. Corcoran's place. They'll be wondering where I we—"

"Tell me something," Rachel said, keeping her eyes on the floor.

Jesse gulped and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh...sure." He sounded nervous. It should have made Rachel feel special, that she could make him nervous like that. But it didn't affect her at all.

"Was it real? Or were you really just playing me the whole time?"

Jesse sighed. "It's not that simple, Rach. I—"

"Don't call me that."

"—wasn't spying on New Directions, contradictory to your belief."

"What were you doing then?"

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

Jesse looked at Rachel. She was biting her lip and her eyes were wet. Time to come clean.

"I befriended you because Shelby wanted me to; because she wanted to make that connection with you. She wanted you to know who she was. But I didn't do it to spy on you guys. Vocal Adrenaline didn't even know about it. They thought I was insane to date you."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "That was my mission – to make sure you found out that Shelby was your mother. But the rest of it? Transferring to McKinley? That was real. I didn't have to do any of that – I _wanted _to."

"Then why did you leave? What happened?"

"You _know _what happened!"

"Run, Joey, Run? Couldn't you let that go? Everyone else did! Noah did! Finn did!"

"Oh, _him_ again? Rachel, how do you think it felt to be me? How do you think it felt to know that the only reason you were going out with me was because you were heartbroken over Finn Hudson?"

Rachel fell silent.

"Sure, at first it was fine because it didn't really mean anything. It was part of my task, but then I actually started liking you! And it hurt more and more each day. I knew you wouldn't cheat, but I also knew I was only second best. I've never been _second_ best at anything. Then when I saw the video...that did it for me. I was done."

"Then why did you come back? Why didn't you leave _then? _Why'd you have to wait longer?"

"Because I hadn't done what I was supposed to do yet! Trust me; I wanted to go back to Carmel! I begged Shelby to let me but she wanted you to know so badly, that I had to stay. And as soon as you knew, I left. I _had _to. It hurt too much."

A single tear rolled down Rachel's cheeks. She noticed that Jesse was crying too. "You're right. I only started dating you because of Finn. But that doesn't mean I never liked you. You hurt me too, you know."

"We both hurt each other."

They looked at each other and a silent agreement passed. It was over.

"Did you mean it?"

"That is an incredibly vague question, Rachel. To what are you referring?"

"Did you love me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Y-yes." Jesse covered his face with his hands. "Yes."

Rachel inhaled sharply. She was afraid to ask the next question; she was afraid to hear the answer but she had to. She had to know. "Do you still?"

Jesse looked up. His jaw clenched and he stood straight. Looking Rachel in the eye, he shook his head.

"No."

Rachel nodded. Then she hugged him. Before pulling away, she kissed him on the cheek. "Goodbye, Jesse. Thank you."

Jesse watched her leave. Winning Regionals suddenly meant nothing to him. He'd lost what mattered. But he wouldn't chase her. She was already happy.

It was just what they needed: a clean slate; a new beginning.

* * *

"So he wasn't really a spy. He was just trying to help Shelby."

Finn listened to Rachel tell him the story of what happened with Jesse. They were at the park near Rachel's house. After visiting Quinn at the hospital, he drove her home; but when they got to her front porch, they decided they didn't want to part ways yet. So Rachel took him to the park. It was nearly deserted, considering that it was getting late but the couple didn't mind.

"Wow," he said. "Tough."

"Yeah," Rachel sighed.

They were on the swings, sort of. Finn was too big and the swings could never get high enough, so he just sat down and listened.

Something was bothering him. It stuck out like a sore thumb. Something about Rachel's story sounded...off.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think...that if you didn't do the video, he wouldn't have left? Do you think you were right before? You know...that you found him?"

Rachel took her time answering. "Yes."

"Oh."

To say he wasn't disappointed would be lying. Things were going so well. Jesse ruined everything.

"But you were right."

Finn looked at Rachel and arched a brow. "What?"

"That's how I knew. He didn't forgive me. You did. If I was important to him, he would have let it go and we could have worked it out. And I was wrong too. If I hadn't made that stupid mistake, I wouldn't have lost him. But like you said...it _is_ fate. That's how it's meant to be. And maybe I did find him. But I lost him. And he lost me."

"Wow," Finn said. "Deep."

Rachel laughed. "Besides, I have no regrets."

Finn smiled. "None?"

"Nope," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Well in that case," Finn said, leaning over. He closed his eyes just as his lips were about to land on hers, but Rachel stopped him. She put a finger to his lips and laughed.

"Not so fast, hotshot."

Finn sat down, confused and slightly afraid. Rachel got up from the swing she was sitting on and came to stand in front of Finn. They were almost the same height this way: Finn sitting down and Rachel standing up. It was funny.

"There was that thing you said earlier," Rachel said, looking at him wistfully and leaning forward. "Before we performed. What was it again?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Rachel," he sheepishly complained.

She laughed at him. "No, really. What was it? I don't think I can remember."

Finn laughed and wrapped his arms around her. "I said...I love you."

Rachel beamed and kissed him. "Right back at you."

Finn smiled his adorable lopsided grin and he got up. "We should really get back. Your dads will be wondering where I've taken you."

Rachel nodded, biting her lip. "Hey, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Yeah." Finn smiled. "I love you."

I _love_ you, not I _loved _you.

Present tense, not past.

Not that it mattered anyway. It was all about the future now.

It was all about Finn and Rachel and their future _together_. She didn't tell him, but she knew deep down that she _did_ find him. She found him that day in the auditorium when they sang 'You're the One that I Want.' She found him when they sang 'Don't Stop Believing.' She found him when they went out bowling. She found him when they won Sectionals. She found him when he took her to the doctor. She found him that day in school, standing on the stairwell. He found her. And she knew he was the one because, she'd already lost him – several times. But she kept on finding him again. And when fate keeps bugging you about the same thing, then it has to be for a reason, right?

* * *

**A/N2: **Holla! Well, I know it's not completely true to the story, but I hope it was okay. Also, let me explain why I made Jesse sort of good here. He didn't get any lines in Journey and I was outraged. I feel that he should have at least apologized to Rachel for everything. But well, I guess that goes to show what a jerkbutt he is. *sigh*

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or even just read the story. I love you all for your support. I hope I didn't disappoint you.

*wipes away tears*

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY. *gets hit by tomato*

Oh, snap. And that people, is my cue. I bid you all adieu.

- Dorky out!


End file.
